Elephant in the Living Room: Confronting the Tough Stuff

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You may remember this one: "Question: Where does the elephant sit in the living room? Answer: Anywhere it wants to!" An old favorite from a childhood joke collection - but one that is solidly based on a proven component of human dynamics. For the most part, we all tend to avoid addressing the issues that are the most cumbersome and problematic. Who wants to tackle an "elephant" and try to change what it's doing? Human beings have an incredible capacity to turn a blind eye to situations that are difficult. Call it denial, call it avoidance or call it just plain old fear; if you tend to avoid the really tough stuff, you're not alone. The problem with that natural inclination is that it can lead to a culture of accepting the unacceptable.

All businesses employ and depend on people to lead and operate their enterprises. The majority of the tough problems business owners face are usually related to something that someone is or is not doing. In other words, these are behavioral problems. Some difficult situations which may have already occurred in your workplace:

• An employee who does not deal well with frustration and acts out in inappropriate ways.
• An employee who is insubordinate and takes a challenging stance with supervisors.
• The employee who has an encyclopedia of excuses, but never seems to have the agreed-upon work product when it's due.
• A manager who is extremely tough on direct reports and uses belittling or abusive language.
• A manager or supervisor who can't seem to lead his or her department, tends to miss deadlines and generally creates chaos around most projects.

Behavior-based problems aren't fun. Most managers would rather sit through an audit with the IRS than confront an employee about a behavioral issue. In addition, the higher up the food chain we go, the greater impact problematic behavior has on a business. Now we have the added challenge of confronting an authority figure about his or her negative or irresponsible behavior. Any volunteers? No? It's tough, no question about it. It's no wonder many of us decide to "do nothing and see if it works itself out." Has anyone ever benefited from that strategy?

When we fail to address a large problem that has reached elephantine proportions, the unchecked problem usually continues to grow. And as it continues to grow or escalate, it can get to the point where everyone in an organization is accommodating the problem in some way. When this happens in a business, we can rely on the following to occur:

• Leadership's lack of action will cause concern up and down the organization.
• Rules and codes of conduct will cease to be taken seriously.
• Company morale will plummet.
• Trust will begin to deteriorate across departments.
• Preoccupation with the unaddressed problem will impact productivity and the bottom line.

Well, if our businesses employ people, then we know we'll be dealing with the tough stuff sooner or later. Rest assured, we are dealing with a certainty here. And the best way to deal with a certainty is to prepare for it in advance. We can prepare for behavioral problems in business the same way we prepare for other disasters. Call it insurance. We can't afford not to have it in place. The steps outlined below will help build your company's insurance plan for dealing with problematic behavior.

Provide training for all managers to identify and coach around dysfunctional and unacceptable behavior. This type of on-the-spot triage can often derail a problem before it impacts anyone else or the business as a whole. This may involve referring an employee to an EAP program, or specific recommendations for outside help. At the very least it requires managers to be vigilant and attuned to their people.

Appoint a leadership team to devise a company-wide plan that deals with challenges related to behavior problems. This contingency plan should have specific steps and related documentation procedures. The resulting outline will be there to guide the organization and to define specific steps in dealing with the tough stuff.

Adopt a rapid response methodology designed to ensure that problematic behavior issues do not escalate into large problems that become unwieldy. While it may be easier to decide to "not become involved," it is management's responsibility to stop a problem before it becomes the elephant that everyone is walking around.

Communicate problem readiness to all employees. Let employees know that management takes all internal issues seriously and that anyone who may come forward with a concern will be heard and acknowledged. This language should also be evident in your organization's employee handbook. If you have a culture where employees are ridiculed, bullied or penalized for voicing concerns then you have serious work to do.

Be real when responding to a problem. Don't deny its existence. Don't dispute what employees are seeing and hearing. To do so will impact management's viability. Accurately define the situation and work towards a resolution.

Have a recovery plan in place that assists employees in regaining their focus and moving on after a problem in the workplace. Very often we don't realize the effect of unresolved feelings and the resulting impediment toward reconciliation. Provide appropriate outlets for employees to discuss their feelings when dealing with the aftermath of a problem. Assisting with closure is as important as the initial identification of the problem.

The time we invest in preparation now will be well worth the effort when we find ourselves eye to eye with the tough stuff. Don't wait for the trail of peanut shells to signal the arrival of the elephant. Deal with your company's behavior-based issues before they have a chance to take over the living room.

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Tandem Partners is an organizational consulting firm specializing in people strategies that drive business results. For more information on crafting a strategy for dealing with behavioral issues in your work place, please contact Melissa McDaniel at 301-662-2400 or via email: melissa@tandem-partners.com .

Copyright 2007 Tandem Partners

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